never again...

i didn't realise how much trauma a simple bike could cause!

oh my poor legs... not to forget my bum!
i haven't checked it, but i'm sure it's bruised.

what the heck am i talking about?
a killer "burn-fat" bike class i took at my yoga club.
i only took it to try something different... g*d, never again.

when i was a kid i used to love zooming around on my bmx bike. back then i could bike flat-out for hours!
back then... yes.
not now!
i used to live on that bmx santa gave me.
i remember riding along the street minding my own business when i then spotted an ugly girl from my class. i don't know what came over me but the man in me took over and i thought i would do a fancy fly-in-the-air stunt.
why? to show-off of course. even though i thought girls were "yuck" and had "girl-germs"!
so there i am peddling my skinny legs as fast as they can go getting ready to fly, and then SPLAT...
i lost control and landed in a very odd angle right in front of the ugly girl.
but i held back the tears, tried to control my shaking hands, got straight back on that bmx and started to bike home. the pain was killing me and my left arm was bent in the wrong direction but i was too chicken to look back just in case the ugly girl was watching me.
and yup, you know what, my arm was broken.
i was kinda pleased as i had always wanted to wear a cast and have all my friends sign it. how naive i was.
that was the worst summer ever, no swimming, no bike riding, and all topped off with an constant itch which i couldn't reach because of the blimming cast!



skip forward 20-odd years and the man in me still thinks he can ride a bike for hours on end and enjoy doing it. what was i thinking!?
my masculine instructor pumped up the music and we started to peddle to the beat.
so far so good.
but then the music got faster and faster and i could feel my still-skinny legs starting to burn... not a good sign.
then we had to lift our butts off the seat and peddle even faster!
WHAM, cramp.
yup, i got blimmin cramp in my leg.
i don't know how i made it through the rest of the class, it's all a bit of a blur now...
i just remember feeling faint, hot, pain, and wishing the instructor would play some slow ballad instead of the constant techno racy beat!

while massaging my sore legs in the hot shower, i promised myself never to do this class again, and never to be more man than i need to be.
however i'm obviously meant to continue stretching my body as a parcel arrived at my work today.
how exciting! o lo---ve getting parcels!
inside was some snazzy new yoga wear from my handsome thai friend who works at ni*e and some top-grade coffee beans from his lovely wife. (you can read about them here).
thanks so much S & N!! not being a "sporty-type" it's very hard for me to go into sports shops... so you've saved me in more ways than one!

as my body got a bit of a beating i've cancelled tonight's yoga class to go drinking instead.
unfortunately i'm going with my "i-live-for-soccer" friend who has a 6-pack.
maybe i should be sporting my new wear at yoga tonight after all...
nah, i need a beer, it's happy-friday!